again, I can't sleep. Or sometimes I am sleeping too much. the grey days make you want to curl up under your knitted blanket and close your eyes until the rain stops.
i want to wake up earlier and earlier and keep up with the sunlight when it is here, but instead I am just staying up later and later, completely throwing off my internal clock.
i was listening to a radiolab show about sleep. many animals sleep with only one hemisphere (one half) of their brain at a time. dolphins do it because they are conscious sleepers and need to be partially awake so they will not drown. ducks do it so that they can watch out for enemies. apparently humans used to do it too. that is only a theory of course, but it is kind of cool. when some humans can't sleep, maybe it is because that part of their brain that used to be wired to stay awake and watch out for danger is still partly functioning. that is why it is hard to sleep in new houses for the first time, new hotel rooms, with new people.
but, you know when you can't sleep because you are thinking, thinking, thinking....what is happening then? what is the danger, the fear, the discomfort?
this week i showed a boy from madrid around the city. i was a pretty pathetic tour guide since i know nothing about this city. instead we went to the library, got lost among houseboats trying to find an island, drank beer, and listened to jazz music.
i miss everyone so much and no one that i have met so far comes even close to any of you. it is making me mopey. can everyone just move to amsterdam? it's a lovely city....i promise.
xoxo,
m
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